The Dreaded C Word

Having two children, a husband, going to college and running a small business kept me on my toes.  One of the kids was in school all day and the other was with me. This made it so I could spend time with each of the kids separately and focus on each of them.  It was kind of nice having them five years apart for this very reason.

I was taking a couple of college classes at the local university.  When the hubby was home at night I would go to class.  Homework wasn’t too bad.  I was enjoying learning and my brain was taking in all the new things.  Learning in school is brain food, that is what I tell my kiddos.  Life was good.

Except I was constantly getting sick.  I couldn’t shake off the cold I caught the past spring.  I was always tired.  No matter how much sleep I was getting I could never get fully rested.  My body just didn’t feel right at all.  I had such an odd smell that would linger in my nostrils.  It was sulfuric – almost like a burnt match.  Its really hard to explain the smell. At one point I thought it was a dead rat or something under the house.  This was not logical because the smell was with me everywhere.

I had started seeing a doctor and wondered if I was a hypochondriac.  I was dreaming that I had cancer.  I felt like I was being told by God I had cancer.  However, many blood tests and doctor visits later, nothing was found.  This was over a six month or so span of time.

Then, I found it.  I was in the shower and I touched my skin and it felt rubbery, like rubber cement on a magazine. I pushed and there it was. A pea sized lump.  My heart skipped beats, my skin tingled and crawled, and I knew right then what I was touching. CANCER…  The dreaded C word.

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