Just like that he is gone. I watched him run down the ramp to catch the ferry over to the airport. Two large pieces of luggage and his backpack with him. All that was left behind to remember my son was in the car was ONE shoe! Unbelievable. He seriously left one shoe in the back seat !
Today was a rough day. He came home before we headed out for church. We visited for maybe 30 minutes. I hadn’t seen him in days. You could tell today he was off kilter. No idea what he has been up to for the last few days. Probably everything he shouldn’t be.
I had asked him to please come spend some time here at home with his sisters. His two younger sisters who love and adore him. These girls have been in an emotional state watching their brother struggle and go through the addiction process like he has. They have had to listen to him talk about not wanting to live and just buying gun powder to end it all. They have watched him nod off in his food and sleep standing up. All they wanted was a little time to see him in case it is the last time.
When he came home he started to do laundry and pack. We visited until I left for church. Then he left without finishing packing. UGH what is wrong with him?? Why didn’t he at least finish packing before running off!
He shows up at home at like 3:50pm. Packs up what he can into two bags, grabs his backpack and off he goes with a friend who is giving him a ride. Well then he gets STUCK in the snow!! So we had to go pick him up and get him to the airport ferry within 20 minutes. This didn’t make me feel good. But I was relieved to see him one more time.
I have a strong faith in our Good Lord and believe we all have eternal life. Our son was bapitized at 13 years old. So even if he doesn’t actively practice Christianity I feel relief knowing God is in him. I don’t believe we can really kick him out by sinning. With that said, I know I will see my son again in Heaven if that is God’s plan for him.
However, I am not ready for that yet! I don’t want him to overdose and die. I don’t want him to overdose and become a vegatable. I don’t want him to get lost on the streets of Seattle or any other place!! Meaning get lost in his use and become a slave to someone for what he owes to them.
We get to the airport ferry with no time to spare. My husband enters the one way street the wrong way to get there quicker. Our son jumps out says a quick I love you and runs off down the ramp with his two bags and backpack. This brings a HUGE lump in my throat, my nose is burning and my eyes well up with tears. I will miss you son and I love you. I text him and then I look in the back seat and there is that one darn shoe!! Just like Cinderella he left one shoe…. Guess I will mail that with some photos. If I could go and give it to him, I would. I am going to miss this kid and I hope that he will make it on this next journey!!