Each day I start out praying for a circle of protection. For all of those I love and others who need it. This puts me in a good mind set. Knowing that I am not in control (even though I WANT to be) and giving it up to God as my day begins lets be keep on moving through daily life with my family.
Recently we have experienced a few more challenges so I have beefed up my prayer regime. Car accident with my girls that resulted in extra anxiety for all of us. Thank goodness for guardian angels that were with them and protected them. I am so thankful the car is the only total loss we experienced and the other people in the other car were ok as well.
Work keeps me busy a variety of hours so that helps me keep my mind on things that make me feel good. My family keeps me pretty busy the rest of the time with sports, girl scouts, and other fun activities. It is the quiet time where I sit that my mind wanders to the what ifs.
I am in a few support groups for Moms and families of those suffering from addiction. My what ifs drift towards things I hear about in those groups. Right now we are in the fairly early stages of addiction with our child. No stealing, no dealing right now, and no sleeping on the streets.
I am not saying the addiciton hasn’t been present for a long time, as we have became aware of it about 4 years ago this past December. However, it progressed from alcohol to marijuana to pills, to other substances and then about 2 years ago heroin reared its ugly head in our lives. Well, that is when we knew heroin had joined our dinner table.
Today I choose life! Today I choose to live in the present with my family and not let my mind drift off to the what ifs. My daily life needs to come before addiction. My husband and kids that live at home need to come first. Today I choose to remain in the present and be here for my daily life uninterupted. Today is going to be a hard day.