This week was crazy busy for me. I cannot think of any down time that I had before 9pm. Work was wonderfully busy, kids were busy with activities, and I was busy with my activities too. I am thankful at times for such busy days/weeks.
Often times I catch myself letting out a long, deep, and meaningful sigh. One that represents fear, and anxiety more often than any other emotion. I try to listen to the dialogue going on inside my head when I am aware of this breath. I can be very disappointed in the dialogue I have going on, so this is why I listen and intentionally try to change it.
This past two weeks I was faced with many fears. Without going into detail I just want to say that I am thankful for a merciful and loving God who offers me grace and understanding at my weakest moments. If I was not blessed with a God who loved me so much he gave his one and only son for me (and each of you) and my sins, I might not have been able to JUST BREATH at all in the past week.
Nor would I have been able to see someone in the raw moment I was allowed. I had a moment where someone shared information with me that I could have decided to condem them or forgive them. I chose forgiveness. It was a moment where I truly felt God’s presence and knew I was doing the right thing by seeing a negative situation in a positive light.
I can just BREATH easy tonight knowing I chose to give grace instead of condemnation. Addiction is such a nasty, unforgiving, non discriminatory disease. Addiction wants anyone and everyone they can consume and it is so enticing and ruins the best of people and families. My anger needs to remain with the disease and not with the person. This is a work in progress for me daily.
I also want to say this – my blog is about my thoughts. It is fragmented if my thoughts are. It may not make sense because it is not intended to be perfect. It is not directed at any certain person or group. It is thoughts running through my mind that I NEED to get out so I can just BREATH. Thank you for understanding and offering me grace when I may offend you. It is not my intentions to do so, I am just doing my best to make through each day – one day at a time.