FEAR

Here I am, in family weekend again this summer, in treatment with my son. I have not felt fear since he has been in here. I have felt a sense a security just knowing he has been here.

It’s been a relief to know where he sleeps each night, who he is with, where he spends his spare time, and what he is doing. Which has been working on himself, relapse prevention and the aftercare process.

Today I am stuck on FEAR. In two days he will graduate from a 28 day program. I have so many fears… it is hard to process what my brain has going on. My fears are starting to cloud my mind.

My biggest fear lurks close by and causes a heightened sense of anxiety for me. I cannot get the thought of him overdosing and dying out of my mind. It is a real fear, something that I have to know could happen if he relapses.

Sometimes, even though I have faith, I can get lost too. I have self doubt and fear. My son looks good, seems determined, has a good outlook and is healthier than before. I’m doing my best to not let my fear show too much. One day at a time…

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